Well, I was going to save this for a later date, but now seems an appropriate time to get it off my chest.
It has been an incredibly rough month for me. I'm so drained it's slightly scary, I haven't felt this emotionally exhausted in a long time. I'm anxious and I'm frustrated. With the passing of my Papa to Cancer. Cancer is pretty lethal in my family, from bone to ovarian to Pancreatic - which is what he had by the time he passed. It has taken 3 of my grandparents. This was a man who loved and respected me for what I was. He told me I was special and I feel horrible that I might not ever live up to that. He was quite the "tell it like it is" sort, I think I take after him the most, the more I think about it, and I wish I had gotten to know him better with the time I was too selfish to spend with him.
After 3 years of working towards a goal I was told I was not good enough. I don't think I sobbed harder in my 23 years of living, or felt more heart-broken and aimless.
The clothes dryer broke. (I know, horrifying) but you try getting through the week when all your clean clothes are soaking wet.
Just last night my room-mates aunt (and by default mine too) fell, we found out she had a major stroke. It was nerve-wracking, as we had to call the paramedics to take her to the hospital. So it was an incredibly long night.
I'm constantly tired of not being given the benefit of the doubt because people have already passed judgement on me. I apologize to those I've been impatient with, or otherwise snappy. It's been an overload of things building up. So I'm thinking I might just take a much needed break.